Lovedagoat.com Article: Dec. 18, 2009
The Lost Years
Champange Supernova
You ever wonder where Tiger got so much time to have so many girlfriends, a steady eddy and play in golf tournaments every weekend?
Heck, where did he find time to be with his kids?
Or better yet, handicap on the horses?
Ha!
If we for example, imagine his golf play as our form reading measured in time, than we can come up with solid comparison of the two sports.
I could only imagine how he did it:
8am-wake up and make breakfast for the kids...
8:30am-shower, read the sports section on the man throne, and get dressed.
8:45-call your therapist, your caddy to confirm practice at 11am, and call your wife who lives in the master bedroom...
9am-kiss the kids goodbye, load your clubs, and tip the nanny for making breakfast...
9:05am-call your mistress, number 12, on the third cell phone hidden in your golf bag while driving...
9:10am-firm up plans to meet at hotel near beach and golf course...
9:20am-pull into hotel and go upstairs to room of number 12...
9:30am-hellboy goes wild...
10:30am-leave hotel and head to course...
10:45am-stretch, meet caddy, and talk about plan to tackle 18 holes not 14...
11am-practice with caddy talking about next endorsement...
11:30am-phone rings...number 8 is in parking lot of golf club calling to meet...
11:37am-tell caddy that wife needs him to help with kids, walk off hole number #4 near parking lot and jump into jeep with number 8...
High Noon-check into "The Dolphin Swims Motel"...
12:48pm-walk back onto the 4th hole to meet caddy and tip him for a stellar round...
1pm-finish practice loading up clubs, and call number 7 to meet for lunch...
1:30pm-lunch...room service..."did i lock the car?"
2:07pm-nap...
3:23pm-awake to cell phone ringing...wife...
3:30pm-check out of the Dolphin...
3:45pm-arrive at home to help out with kids...nanny has put them down for nap...
3:46pm-hit showers...
4pm-talk to wife...nap...
5pm-awake from nap for dinner...
5:05pm-dinner...
5:30pm-tip chef...
5:45pm-watch sportscenter with kids and wife...talk about day...reading the kids a book...
6pm-forgot something in car...
6:01pm-call number 10...
6:15pm-tell wife got to go meet "next endorsement"...
6:30pm-cock-tails in four star hotel lounge...
7:30pm-check into room with walk in closet...
8:33pm-done checking out walk in closet...
8:57pm-leave hotel...
9:20pm-arrive home and kiss kids goodnight for bed...tip wife for putting them to bed...
9:30pm-shower...
9:45pm-call caddy to confirm practice...
9:53pm-go to bed...watch sportscenter with wife...headache hits, asleep by 10pm.
Total time for golf: 3 holes...which equals 3 races for handicapping...or 25 minutes or so.
Tiger, welcome to our world!
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